A Special Valentine’s Day Post For My Single Friends

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As an author—and a romantic—one of my favorite things to write about is love. I love taking two characters and watching them interact, watching the foreshadowing of things to come between them. Sometimes they fall quickly and passionately in love, knowing the instant they see one another that they’re meant to be together. Other times, they fall in love slowly and cautiously, holding back out of circumstances or fear, until barriers are broken and they find themselves in each other’s arms at last.



Being an author has given me more than just a passion to pursue and an aspiration for a career. As a Christian, it has given me insight to the way I think God must view us. My methods of writing are what most consider to be an obstruction to creativity. I write out timelines and outlines before starting a novel. I know exactly what is going to happen from beginning to end before I even pen the first word. I do an extensive 20-60 page interview with all of my integral characters before I begin writing them. By doing this, I know everything there is to know about who they are, from the trivial favorite color to their most guarded, darkest secrets that sometimes, even my readers never discover.

Putting these characters into the prearranged storyline is like stitching two bright new colors of string in an already completed cross-stitch pattern. I get so much joy seeing their lives materialize the way I see them in my head. Writing well—constructing not only a great story but weaving in an alluring romance—will cause readers to gain an interest in me as an author and seek more of my work in the future.

It is the same way with God.

Single or married, right now, He is writing your romance; He is writing the story of your life. Before you were even born, he already knew every single detail about you, from your favorite color to the secrets that haunt you. He delights in watching the story He crafted transpire; He wants you to see that it points back to Him, to show that the Great Creator has gone to painstaking efforts to shape every aspect of your life for a grand purpose.

Don’t feel sad or miserable this Valentine’s Day, if you’re single for the first time in days or months or years. No matter the circumstances, He is writing your life story—a story conceived by Him to bring Him glory. There is even foreshadowing in your life; little hints He’s dropped along the way of things to come, showing that a great tale is being written by a great God.



Focus on that today. Don’t spend it gorging on pity chocolates and crying by yourself as you watch Noah and Allie smear vanilla ice cream on each others’ faces, or Elizabeth turning down Mr. Darcy’s proposal in the rain, or as Jack lets Rose “fly” on the deck of the Titanic. Spend time with God; that’s what this time is for:

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

See? Every Christian couple is a delegator of their time—time spent with their husband or wife, and time spent with God. Your single years are the period of your life where God is setting up your story, developing you as a character—a character who knows and loves Him. This process is not the same as in a great romantic book or movie, though; you are not being prepared for an epic finale of a culminating romance. Your life is a bright string being added into a story that has already been planned out. Perhaps an element of your role will include a significant other character someday, but that is not the purpose of your existence…

God is. Spend today with the One who shaped your heart and spent time getting to know who you are before you were even born. Later, when you’re trying to divvy up time between God, a date night with your spouse and finding a baby sitter, you’ll wish you had used this time a little more wisely.


If you like this blog post, check out my book series!


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